How to Negotiate Your Salary and Get Paid What You're Worth

The pay gap between women and men widened for the second year in a row—the first time that’s happened since records began in 1960. Women working full-time earn 81 cents for every dollar men earn—the same as they did 10 years ago. For mothers and women of color, it’s far worse.

The onus is on companies to pay women fairly. Full stop. But many companies aren’t doing what it takes, and women can’t afford to wait. That means we need to negotiate smarter—and the tips below will help you do exactly that.

The pay gap isn’t about women’s effort or skill. If we were paid according to education level, we’d outearn men. Even when we work the same roles and hours as men do, about 40% of the pay gap remains. Researchers think this “unexplained” gap is due to bias.

As a product manager, Sarah Lands Ramrup experienced this firsthand. A male colleague had a similar role and background to hers. “It wasn’t until later that I realized he earned $45,000 more than me.”

It’s not that women aren’t asking for more: we’ve been asking for raises as often as men for years. The problem is that when we ask, we’re less likely to get what we want. Research shows that women face more pushback when they negotiate for themselves than men do making the same request. That means we can’t just ask—we have to ask strategically.

Here’s what the research says works:

• Come prepared. When you’re ready to make your ask, bring specific examples of your impact, data on the going rate for your role, and—if your company has formal criteria for promotions—evidence that you’re meeting or exceeding them. The more concrete your case, the harder it is to dismiss.
• Practice out loud. Rehearse your ask—including how you’ll respond to pushback—before the real conversation. Research shows this makes a meaningful difference. It’s most helpful to practice with a friend or colleague, or in a small group like a Lean In Circle.
• Aim high. Pick the highest number you think they’ll agree to—then add 10%.
• Use “we” language. Frame your ask around shared goals and team impact. Research shows that this communal approach gets better results for women.
• If you get told no. Ask what it would take to earn a raise in six months—and get specifics. Put it in writing and send it to your manager so you can reference it when you ask again.

Good luck in your own negotiations—and please share this advice with the women in your life. Fair pay isn’t just a personal win: every woman who negotiates successfully makes it easier for the women who come after her.