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How to Respond When Someone Questions Your Competence at Work

Your questions, answered.

Written by
Mary Noble-Tolla
Last updated
This is for
Allies & PartnersEarly Career WomenWomen in the WorkplaceManagers & Employers
Topics
Workplace BiasConfidenceInclusionResilience

Dear Lean In,

I work in a male-dominated industry. Despite years of experience, I constantly have my competence questioned by men who have far less experience than I do—having my judgment second-guessed and generally being treated as less capable than my credentials warrant. What can I do when this happens to me, and when I see it happening to other women?

—More Than Qualified

Dear More Than Qualified,

You’re certainly not alone! Women’s competence tends to be underestimated at work, while men’s is overestimated, and this bias hits women hardest in male-dominated fields. Here are the best ways to defend yourself—and others—according to social science research:

  1. State your expertise clearly, and back it up with data. Practice a few different versions of this language so you’re well prepared for the next incident: “I’ve worked in this area for X years—and here’s what the research says.” Citing external evidence shifts the burden of proof away from your personal credibility and onto facts that are harder to dismiss.
  2. Ask clarifying questions. If someone questions your judgment, try asking why: “What specifically gives you pause?”—or simply, “What makes you say that?” Research shows that questions like these can make implicit assumptions explicit, and therefore harder to sustain.
  3. Keep a record of your wins. Document accomplishments, share them proactively with your manager, and review them regularly yourself so you can easily recall and refer to them. Women’s contributions are more likely to be forgotten or attributed to others, so making your impact consistently visible is essential.
  4. Speak up for other women by stating the facts. When a colleague’s competence is unfairly questioned, succinctly remind others of her relevant accomplishments: “Actually, [name] led that project—she’s the right person on this.” Research shows that bystanders who push back are often seen as more credible than the target herself.
  5. Recruit men to speak up, too. Talk to trusted male colleagues and ask them to speak up when women are undermined. A male colleague pushing back on bias will often be heard more readily by the men he’s challenging. “ tk”

Warm wishes,

—Dr. Mary Noble-Tolla

Director of Research and Content, LeanIn.Org