Before you go, sign up for our email newsletter to get inspiring stories, expert advice, and more.
Ana L. Flores
Author & Blogger
Los Angeles, CA
My husband and I were in this together, but I couldn’t change him; I could only change myself. I stayed in the car and vowed that I would fix whatever had broken between us, starting from within.
My daughter was nine months old, asleep in her car seat, when my husband had to park the car on a busy curb on Sunset Boulevard. He couldn’t deal with my screams and sobs anymore.
It was 2008. Months earlier I decided to leave my successful TV career to focus on being a mom. My husband had a thriving freelance business, and he could, for once, take care of us financially.
Then the recession hit. My husband lost most of his clients and had to close down his studio. Debt was piling up, and we were on the brink of not making any ends meet — with no family in L.A. to help us.
That afternoon in the car, I exploded. I had allowed myself to believe that a man, any man, could take care of me — and he let me down. I threatened to run out of that car with our daughter and fly back to El Salvador, where we’d be taken care of by family. My husband needed to suffer because he had done this to us, or so my ego and anger led me to believe.
But once I deeply hurt the one I loved, I wondered why I blamed anyone else for what happened in my life. Yes, my husband and I were in this together, but I couldn’t change him; I could only change myself. I stayed in the car and vowed that I would fix whatever had broken between us, starting from within.
In my search for answers, I realized that all the men in my life — my grandfather, dad, and stepdad — never took care of me, yet I still believed I needed a man’s guidance. I kept hiding my true potential behind that belief, and it was time to let it free. I leaned back from my husband, releasing him from the pressure of being our family’s savior and provider — and leaned into myself. From that day forward, I pledged to take care of myself first. I was not a victim of my circumstances. Besides, I had a little girl that needed me to lead the way for her.
In the last five years I’ve transformed my life, my career and ultimately, my marriage. I broke through the years of recession and used that time to learn the craft of blogging for business. I created two thriving blogs and a social media agency with no financial support, just my know-how and desire to communicate, connect and create communities. I am now a self-made entrepreneur, a published author, a respected blogger and a consultant. I’ve created a life of unlimited possibilities and financial rewards – and my husband has been my biggest cheerleader through it all.
I am now in the driver’s seat, and not once have I wanted to run away.
Get more from Lean In
Start a Circle
We make it easy to get started, and provide all of the materials you’ll need to run your CircleStart your Circle
Join a Circle
Women around the world are meeting regularly in small groups to support each other and learn new skills–join one todayFind a Circle
Learn New Skills
Use our library of education resources to build new skills and support your careerBuild your skills