Power And Influence

Step 1: Icebreaker

Group activity

1 min per member

In this icebreaker, take turns practicing thirty-second introductions—and then share what you saw and heard.

Split up into groups of three to four members, depending on your Circle size.

Each person should take thirty seconds to introduce herself to the group. When it’s your turn:

• Say your name
• Describe what you do
• Tell your group something they don’t already know about you

Take notes. When everyone in your group has finished with her introductions, take a moment to reflect on how each member used her body while communicating. Without mentioning names, briefly jot down a few specific things members did with their bodies that were memorable. This could include things they did with their voices, faces, hands, heads, or even breathing. What impact did this body language have? How did it impact your opinion of them? How did it make you feel?

• Things I noticed about other members’ body language
• The messages and feelings it conveys to me

Before wrapping up, come together as a Circle and share the body language you observed during your group’s introductions. When it’s your turn, share a specific example of body language—and the messages and feelings it conveyed to you. (If time is running out, have a few members volunteer to share their insights.)

Step 2: Member Updates

Group activity

2 min per member

Once you’re warmed up, go around your Circle and share personal updates. As a general rule, personal updates should be brief and focus on big changes and important decisions in your life. (It’s OK not to have one every month!)

If you have a One Action update, share that with your Circle at the same time. (A One Action is one concrete action you committed to take at your last meeting; the goal of a One Action is to step outside your comfort zone or practice a new skill.)

For example, a member update might go like this: “Since our last meeting, I asked my boss for a big assignment and got it. I’m thrilled but a little nervous [personal update]. For my One Action, I asked that coworker I’ve been struggling with out for lunch. She immediately said yes, and I was surprised by how easily we got along. I can see it helping in the office, and we’re going out for lunch again next week—her invite! [One Action update].”

Step 1: Identify when you feel authoritative and approachable

Individual activity

5 min per partner

Spend a few minutes reflecting on when you feel authoritative and when you feel approachable. How and when does it play out? Whom are you interacting with?

Write. When do you feel authoritative? With whom and how? You act high while being authoritative.

Write. When do you feel approachable? With whom and how? You act low while being approachable.

Step 2: Share with your Circle

Group activity

2 min per partner

One by one, go through the following questions to share what you learned about yourself and an example from the past month.

• When and with whom are you authoritative?
• When and with whom are you approachable?
• Share one example from the past month when you acted authoritative or acted approachable. What happened?

Step 1: Practice shifting dynamics

Pair activity

5 min per partner

Break into pairs. Take turns answering the questions below about how you would like to shift the dynamic in a current situation or relationship—in other words, when do you want to be seen as more authoritative or as more approachable?

• What is your goal for the situation or relationship?
• What is the current power dynamic? (How do you act? How do others act?)

Once you’ve both answered the questions, practice what you might do to be seen as more authoritative or more approachable to shift the dynamic. Then, practice moving between playing high and playing low during a single conversation—but don’t do both simultaneously. Can you find ways to seem approachable in parts of the conversation and authoritative in others?

After five minutes, switch and let your partner share.

Step 2: Share with your Circle

Group activity

2 min per partner

One by one, briefly recap your conversations with the group and share what you learned. Be sure to touch on the following questions:

• What is the current power dynamic in the situation you chose to role-play with your partner?
• What is your goal for the situation or relationship?
• What did you see or learn in practicing with your partner?

Step 1: Identify the action you’re going to take

Individual activity

5 min

Think of something important coming up. This could be either a positive or stressful situation where you want to shift the power dynamic. In the next month, try acting high or acting low to make this shift. Remember, you can start with small adjustments.

Write. Write down all the details of this upcoming situation. What is your ideal outcome?

Write. Imagine ways of moving strategically between being authoritative and being approachable in this situation. How will you use acting high? How will you use acting low?

Step 2: Share your One Action with your Circle

Group activity

1 min per member

One by one, go around your Circle and complete the following statements:

• Over the next month, I want to shift the power dynamic in . . .
• To do this, I plan to ...

Move quickly from member to member, and consider cheering one another on as you go.

Step 1: Finalize logistics of your next meeting

Group activity

10 min

Before you break, make sure you have the basics covered for your next meeting: day and time, location, food and drink. Decide what you’re going to do when you get together or who’s going to send out ideas. You may also want to talk through what worked—and what didn’t—in today’s meeting and brainstorm improvements going forward.

Step 2: Close on an energetic and inspirational note

Group activity

2 min

Think of how you are feeling at the end of this meeting. Stand up and take a step back from the group so you have space to move your arms. Try assuming a constricted posture and then saying how you feel (“Today I’m feeling ...”). Everyone can say her statement together at the same time. No need to go one by one. Notice how you feel about what you’re saying in this position. Now, try switching your position to pose in an expansive posture. Pause to notice how your body feels with the change and then say the same statement. Notice how your posture changes your feeling about what you are saying.